Thankful AND Tough

It is Monday and I have on a bright shirt. You are probably thinking “Jeff is at treatment again.” And you would be correct.

In the past I have worn bright shirts to hopefully cheer up someone else. I think this one qualifies as bright. AND I bought it on Half Moon Cay two weeks ago when Jeri and I were there. AND this is the same small island that my parents stopped at to let an 8 and 5 year old touch the beach for a few hours before sailing on. (Me and my brother 51 years ago.)

When I got to the treatment center, however, I realized I needed the shirt for me. There is nothing going on. All my numbers are excellent. I feel excellent. The snow is beautiful and I had a very good morning. But treatment was just mentally tough.

I’m sure it is the devil, but I started to thinking about the years of blood draws and IV’s I hopefully have in front of me. They do not really hurt, but today they were mentally painful. Every other Monday is great, but it makes me start to think I am normal and then I come back and realize I am not. All the nurses are great, but they rotated and almost all are new on my times. AND I started to thinking I could (hopefully) be “stuck” by one of their kids someday.

I am so thankful for what I have AND today was still kind of depressing. Like I said, it is surely the devil. Tonight I will get my ‘mind right’ and tomorrow I will be the Jeff you all know and I expect to be.

While I need to dress up tomorrow, maybe I’ll wear another bright shirt underneath. No one will ever know. Ha!